You Are Not The Centre Of The World

As a child you have always been at the centre of family life, with people who care for you and put your needs first as often as possible. The world, however, does not and will not.

It can be a difficult wake-up call to realise that, sometimes, perfect strangers are quite prepared to stab you in the back. All your life adults - e.g. parents, teachers, etc - have by and large wanted you to succeed, have encouraged you, have helped you out when you have faced failure. As an adult yourself, though, you will occasionally run into people that want you to fail, will hold you back, and will stick the boot in when you most need a helping hand.

Fortunately not everyone is like that, but be prepared to deal with it. Some people will want to make you look bad to further their own career, to drive a wedge between you and someone else, to get something they want, or simply because they're assholes.

Always be polite and civil to people you meet, but make them earn your trust. Conversely, be prepared to give them your trust when they've earned it, otherwise you'll turn into a cynical loner. Protect yourself and your identity and your privacy at all times, in person or on the internet. Don't give anyone ammunition they can use against you, unless and until they have your trust.

There is a corollary to this - people will not put up with your bullshit. You may, at times, get away with things among your close friends and family. You might be late to meet your friends, and they won't mind. You might borrow a few quid from someone and pay it back later than promised, and be forgiven. You might throw tantrums to get what you want, or you might be excused for some failure or other by the people who love you. The rest of the world will not extend the same courtesy. People have to earn your trust, but by the same token you will have to earn theirs.